The Anamagi, the Werewolf and the Ginger
by DerangedDynamic
Summary: "Right," Lily spoke confidently to herself in the mirror. "All I've got to do between now and the rest of my is to get Remus Lupin out of my head and maybe somebody new in it."
1. October 2nd, 1976, The Wedding

**This has been going around in my head for YEARS so I hope I can do my imagination justice. I have been trying to write this since June so actually putting the... fourth... fifth.. mayb****e** _**sixth** _**version up is a big step for me! :)  
I do not own Harry Potter nor do I profit from it.  
If you see anything out of canon that is noticeably a blunder, do tell!**

"Thank you for doing this for me, Remus." Lily whispered as she walked up the stone steps of the church. Her legs shook with nerves,

"Thank you for the suit." Remus replied, holding open the inner door of the church for Lily and two other elderly women who walked in behind them. It was a rental suit but tailored to fit him and looked -as Lily put it- rather dashing.  
"Thank my father," she winked. Her father had told her if her 'date' did not have any 'formal attire' he would pay for a rental. Formal Attire, meaning not Wizard robes. Lily knew Remus did have Muggle attire but like most of his clothes, they weren't in the best condition.

Remus was in awe of the church. He had been to churches before, as his mother was a Muggle but they were much smaller. She would bring him almost every Sunday until his enrolment at Hogwarts, except for the Sundays he did not feel up to leaving his bedroom, the Sundays which aligned with the full moon. He sometimes went at Christmas and Easter, if he wasn't staying at Hogwarts or the Potters. He hadn't been to a wedding however, Muggle or Magical. It was a new experience to him and he had no idea how to behave. He followed Lily's lead and copied people around them. He noted Lily's mother up the front, a small handkerchief at the ready. Beside her was Lily's father, looking misty eyed and proud.

Lily guided him to a pew half way down the aisle and slid in beside a few girls she knew from her primary school; girls who believed she was in a prestigious boarding school for gifted girls. It was only half wrong. She smiled at them, and hugged the closest to her.

"Why are you not sitting with your family?"

"Petunia didn't want me at her wedding. That's like saying she doesn't want me in her family. She wrote me a long letter explaining what I can and cannot do. However, I disobeyed, I brought you." Lily smirked slightly. Petunia didn't even want her at the wedding and Lily would have quite happily stayed at Hogwarts for the event but her parents insisted the she joined them with a date. She took Remus's hand and pressed it against the outside of her thigh where he could feel her wand strapped tightly to it.

"Mine is in my coat," he muttered. She smiled to herself until it became increasingly obvious that the ceremony was about to start.

Lily almost felt ill as the dull organ music started to play and the sound of large heavy doors opening attracted everybody's attention. As the 'click-clack' of Petunia's monstrously expensive shoes filled the room, every person in the church turned in their seats to see her walk down in aisle, except for Lily. She sat upright, stoic and stone faced. She felt like a sore thumb sticking out among the guests but she could not face her sister. Trying to ignore Petunia's figure crossing her peripheral vision, Lily looked at her hand instead and watched Remus slip his over hers, squeezing it supportively. She smiled back gratefully as Petunia reached Vernon at the altar. She couldn't help but notice how they looked like a fat beetle and a stick-insect in clothing.

Vernon was medium height and broad, as if he played rugby when he was a teenager but stopped to fulfil a life of laziness and office jobs. Petunia was thin, very thin. She always was. Lily took envy on her sister's slim figure as a young teenager until she was fifteen and formed curves.

She watched them pray for long happy lives together, and as they said their vows and watched as they leaned in for a quick peck on the lips. Lily knew her sister enough to know that for Petunia, the peck was far too intimate for public display and felt embarrassed. She had never seen her sister kiss Vernon. Not once.

She began to wonder about her own wedding in the future. She visualised herself up at the alter beside a man, a man who didn't have an identity. She looked at Remus before turning back to the alter. Remus maybe? She had always fancied him and he's been extremely nice to her.

Lily, again, couldn't watch as they left the church, followed by her bridesmaids donned in an awful cross between mauve and olive. Lily wasn't even aware such a colour could even exist. She momentarily thanked her sister for her intolerance for magic, thus Lily not having to wear such a horrid composition.

Lily looked down at her own dress, a knee length green dress, simple but pretty. Her mother didn't like the length of it, but Lily insisted that anything longer would make her look much shorter and 5'4" was quite short enough.

The journey to the hotel was somewhat of a blur to Lily. She remembered leaving the church and sitting with her parents and Remus in a family car to the hotel where the reception would take place. Remus handled Richard Evans' questions exceptionally well. He told them that he was in most of Lily's classes and that he was also a prefect. He told them about his mother, a Muggle currently living in Wiltshire (Which eased their concern about Remus fitting in). He told them that his father was a chemist but died when he was a young boy – Almost true, his father was a potion maker for St. Mungo's. When Rosemary asked Remus how he had gotten the scar on his jaw and the other on his chin, he explained convincingly that he was mauled by a dog when he was a child and he had an unfortunate incident with a football goalpost.

For most off the night Lily watched from the sidelines as guests cheered for the newly-weds dancing for the first time to "_Are you Lonesome Tonight"_. Lily was sick of the celebration. Her sister didn't even look at her all evening, nor did her mother, who spent the evening talking to friends and neighbours and reciting how proud she was of Petunia. She wanted nothing more than to return to Hogwarts and relax in the common room with a book or a crossword.

She was pulled from her solitary huff when Remus handed her a drink and took her hand, pulling her to the dance floor. "You need to lighten up." He smiled, taking a gulp of his drink and placing it onto a table. He took her waist and dragged her unwilling feet along the dance floor until she complied and moved with him, drinking her drink with a glint in her eye.

"This isn't just coke, is it?" she whispered, eyeing her father across the room who was staring back just as suspiciously.

"Nope. But I won't tell anyone if you don't." Remus took her empty glass from her and placed it on another table before twirling her.

"Not a word." She agreed, smirking at the warmth the alcohol was generating within her body.

"Have I mentioned that you look absolutely wonderful tonight, Ms. Evans?" Remus asked as he took Lily's waist again after spinning her back into his arms.

"Have I expressed my interest on where you learned to dance, Mr. Lupin?" she replied, blushing slightly.  
"I'm just copying everybody else." He admitted with a grin.

"Shush, someone will hear you and think you are smarter than me." She joked before a pair of hands closed around her eyes. She had began to relax in Remus's arms when she was stirred from her thoughts.

"Lilliput! Guess who!" an annoying high voice cried. Lily almost jumped from her skin from the contact with the cold hands. She span around to see two friends she knew from Primary School; Mags Conner and Geoff Maher standing before her grinning like Cheshire Cats.

"Oh wow, hi Mags, Geoff. I didn't realise you were here." Lily felt uncomfortable. She hadn't really spoken to her two friends since she left primary school aged 11 and started to disconnect herself from the Muggle world.

"We just arrived. Had to work this morning. Who's this?" Mags asked, elbowing Lily suggestively in the ribs and raising her eyebrows. It took a few seconds to realise that Mags meant Remus.

"Oh sorry, this is my friend Remus from school." She explained gesturing between them. "Remus, this is Mags Conner and Geoff Maher, old friends of mine."

"I thought your mum said you were in an all-girls school," Geoff questioned, eyeing Remus warily. Lily cursed herself. Her mum must have told her a thousand times over the years about her fictitious school. She was sick of answering the same question to everybody _"So, why are you not a bridesmaid?" _She would simply answer that it would take up too much time from her school that she could not afford to lose. She didn't anticipate questions about Remus and school.

"Oh our schools are closely affiliated. Under the same authority but it's separated, being a boarding school. It's quite strict. However we share the sports facilities."

"Oh I see… where is it again?" Geoff asked.

"Um, Scotland. Stuck in some mountain ranges. It's lovely but very cold in Winter. Doesn't Petunia's dress look lovely." Lily appealed, feeling more and more uncomfortable. She never prepared answering questions about school on her sister's big day. Geoff didn't stop eyeing Remus and not in a friendly way. Mags was oblivious but maybe Geoff thought Remus to be a rough kind of guy, due to his scars.

"Would you like another drink, Lily?" Remus asked, sensing Lily's discomfort.

"Please! Do you want a hand?"

"No no, I'll be back in a moment."

"So this Remus bloke, quite attractive." Mags asked, her eyes following Remus across the room.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Geoff blurted, receiving an elbow to his ribcage from Mags.

"Oh um..." Lily started but was cut off.

"Blonde though, Lily. Blonde's and red heads do look odd as a couple. Your children would have such fair skin,"

"Oh my," Lily muttered.

"You mother never mentioned a boyfriend to me when I was talking to her. She assured me you were more the studious type of girl."

"Whats with the scars though, dear me? I hope the boy isn't trouble,"

"Or maybe you like the trouble,"

"Well," Lily piped up, sick of the criticism. "I'm going to go find my boyfriend, the drinks are taking quite a while." Lily declared before following Remus's route to the bar. Lily couldn't get away from them quicker. She practically sprinted across the function room. She spotted Remus talking to Vernon's sister Marge who she had met on a few occasions. Remus looked uncomfortable but Marge seemed to lean over to him far too much, her drink nearly spilling over his shoes.

"See boy, with a dog as viscous as that, you need a firm hand or a loaded pistol." she boldly advised. "You won't have any more marks like that if you listen to me. I should know, I have a fair few dogs myself,"

"Marge," Lily chimed in, linking her arm through Remus's poignantly. "I see you've met my date, Remus,"

"Oh is he yours then." Marge scoffed. "I knew there had to be something wrong with him. Seems it was you."

"Excuse me," Remus interjected. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Leave it, Rem," Lily spotted two coke on the counter and nodded towards them. "They ours?" she took a gulp before she received an answer.

"All I mean is the red head of the family is often the black sheep, same with dogs. The odd one out is badly behaved." she explained patronisingly. Lily glowered at her as she walked away. "

"Great big beast of a woman, she is."

"I think she tried to flirt with me," Remus admitted horrified. "You never call me Rem," he smiled, enjoying the feeling of her arm on his.

"Yes I do,"

"When?"

"I must have before. I know I have... listen, I sortoftoldmagsandgeoffthatyo u'remyboyfriend."

"You say 'Listen' but the rest was not English."

"Mags and Geoff were on my back and I sort of told they that you were my boyfriend..." she trailed off, unable to look him straight in the eye? It was becoming far too warm in the ballroom.

"Oh... why?"

"I'm sorry, it was stupid but now they think we are together. I think Mags fancies you."

"You can't fancy someone you acquainted with for thirty seconds."

"Well last summer I heard it takes only 30 seconds for her to fall in love and love only lasts half an hour."

"Oh!" Remus spluttered surprised. He couldn't hide the smile on his face, a smile he wasn't aware of until Lily punched him in the arm.

"Hello, you are meant to be _my_date and _my_fake boyfriend," She smiled. "If anyone else asks, I'll tell the truth but I didn't want you going off with her and me left all on my own."

"That wouldn't happen, Lily. You worry too much."

"Thank you,"

"So Lilliput?"

"Oh gosh. We read Gulliver's travels in Year 4 in school. There are these tiny people on an Island called Lilliput. From then, I was Lilliput to everyone in my class."

"That's quite cute. I've heard of Gulliver's travels. Didn't read it in school though."

"Did you go to primary school."

"Yep. Until I was nine. My mother wanted me to have a 'normal' childhood but it became harder to control myself sometimes. Playing football I did a bit of damage to one kid..."

"Did you seriously play football?"

"I was good! Well, for a nine year old who had to control accidental magic and the occasional 'hormonal' outburst."

"I never would have thought! Oh my gosh, this song!" Lily grinned, taking Remus's hand. "Please dance with me."

"Of course, Lilliput!"

"Don't," she warned, but with a smile. "You're lucky you're handsome in that suit."

"That was the plan. Look good and get away with murder," he winked, taking Lily's hand to dance. Lily couldn't help but turn a tomato-like colour of red.

"Will I be found in my bed tomorrow morning with a dagger through my heart?"

"Please, that's much too messy," he laughed, turning Lily then recapturing her, closer to him this time.

Lily felt her heart pounding against her chest, surely hard enough for Remus to feel it against his. "_Why does he have this affect on me..." _she thought to herself. She wished she could hide her obvious change in tempo but it was soon noticed. Her body started to freeze has her heart bet faster.

"Do you want to sit down?" He asked, as he noticed her feet has stopped moving.

"I want this night to be over."

"Are you not having fun?" Remus frowned. "Is it my hideous dancing?" he joked, taking her hand and leading her to an empty table.

"Your dancing is marvellous. I just thought my sister would talk to me at least. I need another drink."

"I'll bring a whole bottle," Remus smiled cheerily, hoping to brighten her mood. It was the most fun he had had in a long time and only one person in the whole room knew of his condition. Sure he probably looked like an ex-con who had been sliced across the face but that was fictitious and untrue and absolutely fantastic to Remus. He wasn't a werewolf in this room. He wasn't a monster. He wasn't hiding anything and it made him feel liberated. He was just a normal 17 year old -slightly horny- boy in a smart tux walking towards a bar being served by a pretty bar-girl who he could flirt into giving him the whole bottle of wine. Which he did.

Lily waited patiently at the table, slipping off her left shoe to rub the sole of her foot. It was red and puffy from dancing in the god-forsaken heels her mother had forced her to wear. When she heard someone sit down beside her, she looked up with a smile thinking it was Remus but she soon saw it was not.

"Well hello," spoke a deep voice, smiling and stretching his hand out to Lily.

"Um, hi," she smiled, taking his hand and shaking it lightly. He was good-looking but he seemed to know it. She recognised him as being Vernon's Best Man.

"I'm Edmund," he smiled back, "Do you know the bride or the groom?"

"Oh, I'm Petunia's sister." she answered politely, very aware of the stories Petunia had told of her 'odd sister'.

"Well, Petunia's sister, I know who got the beautiful looks in your family." he leaned in closer with a smirk and whispered.

Lily jerked her head away and glared at him.

"Is that supposed to flatter me?" she questioned, crossing her arms.

"I'm sayin' you're gorgeous."

"Well thank you, but really, I should be getting back to my date." Lily pointed across the room at Remus who was being handed two empty glasses and a bottle of wine. Lily tried to get up but Edmund and trapped her hand on the table with his own large ones.

"That's your boyfriend? The one with the scars?"

"You're still not flattering me," she frowned at Edmund but he decided the best plan of action was to grab her by the arms and pull her to the dance floor.

"I can be flatterin', if ye gave me a dance,"

"Please don't." she said sternly, pulling away from the huge man. "Get off of me!" she hissed when he tried to pull her into his arms to dance. She managed to pull away from him only to feel two familiar hands on her shoulders.

"Are you alright? Who's he?" Remus asked, staring at Edmund. Lily could almost feel Remus's hand twitching for his wand.

"Nobody," Lily muttered, looking down at the ground. She gently rubbed the part of her arm Edmund gripped which was sure to bruise.

"What did you do to her?" Remus advanced on Edmund in a way Lily had never witnessed.

"Your girlfriend doesn't like to dance," Edmund spat. Lily could feel Remus's anger rising through him. She grabbed his elbow and veered him away from Edmund, who looked about twice the size of Remus. She had no doubt Remus could handle himself in a fight with this burly guy but she didn't want to make a scene.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, sitting back down.

"For what?" he smiled a bit, wondering what in the world this girl could be apologising for.

"Him."

"Do you know him?"

"No, but I didn't want you getting mad and him causing a scene."

"Lily, that wasn't me mad."

"I've never seen you like that before."

"I don't understand."

"You are always so calm and collected. Then you became... protective or something... it was kind of attractive," she tried to quench her shy smile but couldn't. Her cheeks were turning a distasteful shade of pink and Remus's eyes widened.

"You're a little bit odd, you know that?" he smiled, pouring out the wine he had brought from the bar.

"How did you manage to get that? Oh my Merlin, you didn't '_influence' _her in any way, did you?" Lily asked shocked, an image of Remus jinxing a waitress just to get free wine.

"No no..." he smiled. "I just asked nicely. People now-of-days never appreciate the value of manners."

"I really hope you are telling the truth. I don't want to have to explain to the manager why all his wine is gone if she starts handing it out to everyone." Lily giggled into her glass. "This is good."

"Refill, Miss Evans?"

"Please, Mr. Lupin,"

**RL LE RL LE**

Remus and Lily burst into Lily's room laughing like a pair of toddlers high on Calpol. Lily held on to Remus for support for three reasons. One, Her feet were aching from dancing with Remus all night and running from Edmund at least three times. Two, She was too tipsy to walk in a straight line herself. Three, And she absolutely did not want to let him go. She knew she liked Remus. She always had but it seemed as though the alcohol was unveiling feelings she had for him.

"Lupin-" She laughed as Remus shrugged off his jacked and placed it carefully on the back of a chair. "You are always so neat!"

"And you aren't," he laughed, looking around Lily's room. With a gasp she jumped towards clothes and underwear she had thrown around the room and tried in vain to stuff them back into her suitcase before Remus noticed. He couldn't help redden as she picked up a bra just at his feet.

"I'm a slob, I'll admit it. But only when I am in a hurry." She walked back over to where Remus had left his jacket and pulled half a bottle of wine and two glasses out of his pocket.

"Oh course,"

"Remind me to thank the inventor of undetectable extension charms!" she giggled before slumping onto the bed, stretching her legs out in front of her after kicking her shoes off.

"You were telling me a story!" she insisted, patting the bed for Remus to join.

"Oh yeah! So Sirius's little cousin, she a Metamorphmagus. She's three. I was over for lunch and she kept running around but her hair kept changing colours. I sat there for an hour counting how many kids were in the blasted house!" He took a seat next to her against the head board, a mere few inches separating them.

"A Megamorphagus?" Lily questioned, never hearing the word before.

"She can change the colour of her hair!" he explained.

"Weird," Lily mused before turning to Remus. She traced her finger across the scar on his jaw.

She looked at him for a long moment, taking in his appearance. His hair was a little longer than usual,. But Lily liked it. It suited him, but didn't at the same time. You would have to know both sides of Remus to understand why it looked perfect on him. His face was a little pink and flushed, as was hers, from hours of dancing. His blue eyes were half closed in exhaustion but opened a bit wider when they flickered towards Lily, catching her green ones. She looked into his eyes almost long enough to count each eyelash before he turned his head.

She didn't even realise she was leaning into him until he turned. With that, she pulled his face back to hers and crashed her lips to his. She could tell he was surprised but it only took a few seconds for him to kiss back, and another few for him to pull away.

He stared at her for a moment, watching her eyes drop and her face turn red. Lily was about to move off the bed but Remus threaded his hand through her hair and pulled her back into the kiss. He wasn't sure if it was the wine or just the amount of fun they had that evening or the fact that it was Lily Evans or all three combined but he felt as though kissing Lily was the absolute perfect thing to be doing at that moment.

Her lips were soft against his at first but the kiss deepened as Lily budged her way closer to Remus. His hands were in her hair and on her waist but Lily was lost. One hand was trapped under her and the other was supporting her weight. It was as if Remus could read her mind. The hand on her waist pushed her back onto the bed and everything suddenly became ten degrees hotter. Lily had never been on a bed with a guy before, not like this. Remus was pressed against her, running his hand from her waist to her leg. Lily let her leg slide over his hip, her dress falling up her thigh, leaving skin for Remus to caress.

"Lily, can I um- ask-" Remus asked, breaking away from the kiss, but his fingers kept tracing small circles on her thigh.

"You want to play 20 questions _now_?" She faked offence with a smirk.

"No, eh, have you done this-"

"Oh, no I haven't."

"Then maybe we shouldn't..."

"Have you?"

"No,"

"Then maybe we should."

Remus was sure if wasn't just the wine that was intoxicating him at that moment. His whole body was almost shaking to be pressed against Lily's skin. Her answer was all he needed to indulge in his kiss and move over her.

**RL LE RL LE**

"Do you remember getting this one?" She asked him, her voice almost a whisper. She moved her fingers across his chest to a small scar on his rib cage.

"No, not really. There's been so many. The larger ones I remember."

"Larger ones?" She asked carefully. Remus nodded.

"I have one down the back of my thigh that gave me a bit of trouble last year. And this one..." he pulled the blanket down his torso further to show her a scar that looked like it had been ripped from his belly button.

"Oh... do they heal like normal cuts or..."

"Mostly. Magic can't speed them up though. I've actually had stitches a few times."

"How awful." she sighed. She moved the covers and stuck her leg out the side of her blanket. She pointed to a smeared section of skin on her left knee. "This is the biggest scar I ever got. Potions, fourth year. Fletcher bumped into my cauldron _on _purpose and knocked it down my leg. It was green for a while."

"I don't remember that,"

"You weren't there. Visiting mum, or so I thought."

"I do visit a lot," he chuckled.

"Is she really sick?" Lily asked harmlessly, covering her leg up again and sliding it over Remus. She watched as Remus pursed his lips together. "Sorry I should have-"

"No it's okay. My mum is... lonely. She isn't the same as she used to be. I wish I was visiting her every month... then she wouldn't be as bad. She has her students of course, but they're mostly kids."

"Students? Is she a teacher?"

"She teaches piano," A shadow of a smile crossed his face.

"Can you play?" she asked brightly.

"A little. Haven't in a long time though. Have you ever played an instrument?"

"No, I did dance though. I did ballet until I went to Hogwarts."

"Really? It explains your idyllic posture."

"Thank you."

"Does not explain how badly you dance in the ballroom," he teased.

"Oh come on, it's been years!" she shoved him slightly. "Besides I was never any good but my mother always said it was good for me so kept it up."

"Did you sister do it too,"

"Yep, until she was about fourteen I think, I can't remember. She built for ballet, I wasn't,"

"How so?"

"She's thin and like a wafer. I was too curvy and well, these came along all too soon," she joked, looking down at her chest. Remus remained silent, unsure how to comment upon what she just said. Lily felt him awkwardly tense beside him and quickly changed the subject. "You must play the piano some day for me."

"Yeah sure," he agreed half heartedly. He had never played for anyone before. He wasn't sure if his friends even knew he played.

"Tonight was so much fun. Thank you," she smiled, moving her hand to his. "It would have been awful if you weren't here,"

"It was pleasant to get away for a while." he agreed. "I needed a night where I didn't have to be... me."

"Can I tell you a secret?" Lily asked, looking up at Remus from where she lay on his chest.

"I don't see why not. You've kept mine."

"Well this one is silly... I've been thinking about _this_ since we kissed in fifth year."

"Really?" Remus asked in shock.

"Yeah." she snuggled into him, her whole body pressed against his, making his words a whole lot harder to say.

"Lily, you understand why I can't have a girlfriend..." Remus started. He felt Lily tense against him.

"Yes and no. You should let yourself be happy."

"I know but I care about you too much to drag you down into my life."

"Remus, I am in your life. I have been in your life since the day I decided that I wanted to be your friend. I was still in your life the day I found out you were a werewolf."

"Lily, you're a muggle born. Being associated with a werewolf will make it very hard to get anywhere in life."

"But who knows about you?"

"Not many _now,_ but later, I can't guarantee that will always be the case."

"I understand. But _tonight_ you are just Remus, in the muggle world, where werewolves don't exist," she smiled, reaching up to kiss him again.

**RL LE RL LE**

**I had this story before but I took it down and redid it slightly, added more in the suit the new structure I want!**


	2. October 2nd, 1976, Hogwarts

**Disclaimer: I do not, never have, nor ever will own Harry Potter or any characters stemming from Canon fact.**

**This chapter is short and a kind of filler and a look on James's mind. More will come from him.**

"_I'm sorry, Evans." James had snook up on her while she was sulking in the common room. She was situated in the corner under a lamp which kept flickering, to James's annoyance._

"_For what?" she hissed, not taking her eyes off of her book. However James had noticed that Lily's eyes were not reading the book, just staring at the one spot on the page._

"_For embarrassing you earlier today." he admitted, waiting for her reaction._

"_You embarrassed yourself, Potter. I was merely a bystander who got a bit of backlash." she looked up at him momentarily before looking back down, cursing herself from letting him see her red eyes._

"_Will you accept my apology?"_

"_Accepted. Please, I want to be alone."  
"What Snivellus said..."_

"_Alone, Potter. Do you understand the meaning of the word?" she snapped again, snapping her book closed and tossing it onto the table in front of her._

"_I'm sorry. I just want to say that. For embarrassing you and defending you when you clearly did not need defending."_

"_Granted. Now please..." her eyes begged him. He could now see the red rings around her eyes from where she had been crying and rubbing them. They looked at each other for a long moment, a common understanding flowing between them._

_The portrait swung open and a flustered Mary McDonald came through the door._

"_Lily, the friend of yours is outside. I thought you told him not to come up here!" she almost screeched, her body shaking._

"_Mary, are you alright?" James stepped towards her, putting a hand on her shoulder._

"_I'll be fine once _he's_ gone." her voice shook with what seemed like fear. It was common knowledge that Snape was present when his 'friends' had attacked Mary near the entrance hall the previous month._

"_I'll sort it out." Lily groaned, getting up and marching towards the portrait hole._

"_Do you want me to go with you?"_

"_That will make it worse."_

"_Fine, but I'm waiting here until you get in."_

_Lily didn't disagree with potter on his actions. She knew he never trusted Snape and he certainly wouldn't trust him after he dropped the M-bomb. She turned from him and exited the room to face her former best friend._

James tossed on the comfortable, cushioned sofa of the Gryffindor common room yet no matter what he did, he could not ease into a cosy position. It enraged him that his supposed friend was at a wedding with Lily. His Lily. James had informed his friends that he fancied Lily Evans but he fancied a few girls and they didn't fully know how far above the rest that Lily stood. It pissed him off that she had asked Remus over James, though she had always been closer to Remus.

The werewolf had assured him that they were only friends but that meant nothing in 1976. He dreaded to think of Remus and Lily off dancing and drinking and Merlin knows what else at a wedding, of all places. Where it was almost expected for people to get together. James and Morgan were 'Just friends' for a long time before they became a couple but that did not stop them from snogging and fooling around.

Morgan.

A pang of guilt hit him. Surely he shouldn't be thinking about Lily while his girlfriend was in his bed, the very bed he vacated after having sex with her, and watching her fall asleep.

With a groan, James pulled a Quidditch magazine from the rack at the fireplace. Quidditch was the only thing that could clear his head when it was in turmoil. He flicked through it until he found the page of the In-Season brooms. In the centre fold there was a large picture of the new Comet Five. His EagleX was becoming wobbly at high speeds and wouldn't turn as sharply as it used to. With a cheeky smile, he tugged out the centrefold and folded it neatly and stuffed it into his pocket. He'd post it in the morning to his parents in hope that they'd buy it for him for Christmas.

It was broken from his broom fantasies when the sound of footsteps descending down the stairs caught his ears.

"Jamie?" Morgan's low voice called. James flinched but it was so dark, she didn't notice. He loathed _Jamie._ "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, love," he smiled. She sat next to him on the couch, donned in a pair of his pyjama bottoms and her own school skirt.

"It's two in the morning, babe."

"I couldn't sleep."

"Pettigrew is snoring really loudly up there," she gave a quick giggle before plucking the Quidditch magazine from his hands and began searching for fixtures.

As she read, James' eyes fell on her, studying her and trying to resolve his problems. He didn't get why he couldn't fall in love with Morgan.

Morgan was 5ft,7 with straight long brown hair and the darkest brown eyes he had ever seen. Her left eye had two flecks of gold that glistened in the firelight. She has tiny delicate hands that fit into James's larger ones perfectly.

Her legs were the optimum length to wrap around his waist and hook by the ankles behind him, pulling him closer.

In bed, she was unbelievable. She had always seemed conservative to James until he slept with her, then he learned just how wrong he was. She was receptive to his every touch and movement.

She played Quidditch. No. She triumphed in Quidditch. In the two years she played as Gryffindor's seeker, she only failed to catch the snitch once.

On Hogsmeade weekends she never stressed James to go on perfect romantic date. She enjoyed hanging around with his friends and maybe some of hers in the three Broom Sticks before taking a walk and exploring the bottom of the mountains with James. They found a waterfall once after heavy rain. They stayed there until dusk and spent hours sitting by I, chatting about their upcoming Arrows match.

The Appleby Arrows; Their common love.

During the summer and holidays they always took the time to attend a few Quidditch matches together, and even on occasion, stayed with James all night at his house afterwards when his parents were away for the night.

Morgan was amazing and James knew it. He couldn't figure out why he was so dissatisfied with her as a girlfriend. Whenever he felt like this, a strong wave of guilt ran down his spine. He pulled Morgan closer to him and gave her a peck on the lips.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, willing himself to believe it. His dragged his hands through the long silky hair that flowed down over her shoulder.

"I was just thinking the same about you." she crawled onto his lap, tossing the magazine onto the floor. "You had that look in your eye you get before we make love."

_'Ugh, make love,'_ James though. He hated the term. James thoroughly enjoyed having sex with Morgan but what he felt during was surely couldn't equal love. He always imagined making love would cause him to feel something altogether more powerful than than an orgasm and an occasional foot cramp. It puzzled him that girls always referred to sex as making love. Did they always feel 'in-love' while they had sex, was it their minds playing tricks on them? Was it something that was rooted among potential procreation.

Morgan stemmed from a strict pure-blood family who believed her future lay with a pure blood husband. They approved of James, however he doubted that they would if they knew of their virginity status or, their rather lack of them. Morgan's mother expected them to get married straight after Hogwarts, however this was not officially discussed. James knew this was something that he did not want to do.

Would Morgan feel 'in love' with James if he was a half-blood? Or a muggle born? It was a stupid question. He knew Morgan was good hearted but she wouldn't sleep with a muggle-born. Her over-bearing mother would be on her conscience if she did.

"Jamie? Are you listening? James?" Morgan spoke loudly. James jumped slightly, awoken from his head.

"Sorry. I was..."

"Are we still going to Hogsmeade tomorrow afternoon?" she gave him an affectionate kiss on the nose and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I have to restock on mini sugar quills."

"How about I get Sirius to pick them up and we spend the afternoon in my dorm. It's been a while since we've had it to ourselves."

"It would be nice to not have to stay quiet," she smirked, dropping her head to kiss him.

"Or use the bath..."

"Oh please," she grinned, pressing her hips to James's.

"Not in the common-room," he moaned, his body urging him not to reject her. "Anyone could come in."

"You do realise that these are your pyjamas that have an extremely convenient tear..." she moved his hands to between her legs, showing him the hole.

"You win," James said quickly, before pulling her closer to him, his own pyjamas becoming much to tight.


	3. November 3rd, 1976, Hogwarts

**I'm horrible at udating and I'm sure nobody actually read the first chapter but I am hoping to win you over. This chapter is confusing mostly because Remus himself doesn't know where his head or heart lies and tries his best to put it into words.**

_Remus Lupin was hunched over his desk in the library feverishly working on a History of Magic essay. Every five minutes or so he'd pause for two seconds to crack his neck. The OWLs would be the death of him. He spent most days hiding in the library from everyone who he was in trouble with._

_Earlier that week James had saved Snape's life from a surely fatal attack from the werewolf himself. Sirius's idea of a 'joke'. A cruel one at that. Remus didn't share his sense of humour, now had he looked Sirius in the eye since. His trust for the fellow Marauder had dilapidated instantly. They had sworn each other to secrecy, promising never to tell anyone about Remus or the beast below the Whomping Willow._

_He was avoiding Lily Evans too. Snape was surely going to tell her what had happened and she'd hate him too. James's reaction shocked Remus most. He was always the most forgiving towards his friends but he couldn't be in the same room as Sirius. The school seemed to have noticed too. It was as loud of cheerful._

_Remus's thoughts has overflowed onto his page, after writing the word 'Despicable' instead of 'Distributed'._

_He groaned, crossing out the word and redipping his quill into the ink._

"_Remus?" a voice called from behind him. He turned to see Lily standing a safe distance away from him._

"_I can't talk, I've this Ruins essay-"_

"_That's due next week,"_

"_It's catch up work."_

"_Oh."_

"_Severus told me-"_

"_I don't want to hear it."_

"_Remus-"_

"_Lily, I almost killed your best friend," Remus dropped his quill, taking in the weight of what he had just said. "I feel bad enough without you yelling at me."_

"_Why didn't you tell me? We've been friends for-"_

"_Exactly. I enjoyed your friendship. I didn't want to ruin that."_

"_I already knew but I wanted to know why you didn't tell me."_

"_You're only bringing it up now?"_

"_I figured you'd know I knew now... Remus, I grew up in a world where magic was an illusion, witches were green with warts and werewolves we fictitious creatures from story books that were poisoned by contact with silver. I want you to know that I don't care. And I am not mad at you. It wasn't your fault. None of it was."  
"You don't care that I'm a monster?"_

"_You're not a monster."_

"_Thank you, but I have trouble believing that," Remus smiled half heartedly. Lily looked at him pitifully before pulling him into a hug. Before she pulled away, she kissed him lightly, her lips lingering on his for a moment too long._

"_Sorry," She whispered before running out of the library and back to the safety of the girls dormitory._

_._

_._

_._

Remus always found the library to be his sanctuary. Even though most people knew where to find him, they rarely did venture into the dark, dusty room. That was most people. Lily however always disturbed him.

About a month after the wedding when Lily found Remus hunched over the same writing desk as he was the first time she kissed him. She slowly made her way up to him, lightly tapping him on the shoulder, feeling a rush of Deja Vu run down her spine.

"Hi," she meeked, unsure if he wanted to talk to her. "Can I sit down?"

Remus nodded, and pulled the chair out of her without really looking at her.

"What are you doing?"

"Charms."

"We don't have charms homework."

"It's for next week... I get some of my essays early. I'll be quite... M-I-A."

"Ah yeah... look listen, I wanted to talk to you about the night at the wedding?"

"What about it?" He wasn't being rude or cold on purpose, he just found it hard to be warm when he was stressed and aggravated.

"Well, I just wanted to-" Lily lay a hand on his shoulder, taking a seat beside him.

"Oh Merlin, you're not pregna-" he pushed his chair back from his desk, breaking contact and looking at her for the first time with fear in his eyes.

"Lord no!" Lily almost screamed at him but clamped her hand over her mouth. "I promise I am not,"

"You're sure?"

"One hundred percent, I swear."

"Don't scare me like that," Remus almost smiled in relief.

"You're the one who jumped to conclusions. I wanted to know why you're avoiding me. Also we have rounds in twenty minutes."

"The guilt is eating at me. So much so, I can hardly eat myself."

"Guilt?"

"Don't you realise my best friend asked you out last June and then I slept with you?" Remus started shoving his things into his bag aggressively. "I've betrayed him."

"What are you talking about?" Lily followed Remus as he slid a book back onto a shelf and walked out of the library. Her shorter legs had to walk twice as fast to keep up with his pace.

"James Potter! He asked you out. After teasing Snape." he snapped his bag closed and pulled his cloak over his shoulders.

"After _bullying_him! Slow down! Potter doesn't like me. He likes messing with me; Trying to find out the best way to tick me off! He asked me out because he knew it would push my buttons."

"Well, apparently he does like you. He's been off with me ever since we got back from the wedding."

"Is he really worth the hassle?" Lily rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, in much the manner that she deals with James. Remus was shocked she had even asked the question.

"Yes. Because believe it or not, when we were eleven years old, those guys found out what I was very quickly and the first thing either of them said was _'Can we still be friends?'_ Like they were asking _me_ permission. They are my family and I would not ruin that because James fancies the I slept with," Remus spluttered before he could stop himself.

"So you do even fancy me?" Lily asked surprised.

"What kind of question is that?"

"I just thought... that... it was so close to the full moon... you're always more..."

"Lily, I like you a lot. I have done for a while, which I've already told you. But what we did before the full moon... I only ever want to do during the full moon."

"So now, a time of the month near the moon... you fancy me, but last week you didn't..." Lily took a gulp. Remus bowed his head.

"I do, but it's not the same. There's no... need. No desire to be near you. I always enjoy your company, Lily, I just don't always _need_ you."

"Hold on there, they've betrayed you too! What Black did to you-"

"Sirius doesn't fancy you, James does!" Remus sighed. "I didn't fully know just how much he liked you but when I got back that night, he wouldn't look at me and then the next day, he kept asking questions about it. He even asked if you had gotten with anyone."

"What did you tell him?"

"Nothing really."

"Nothing really?" she asked, suddenly stopping. "What does 'nothing really' mean?"

"And Sirius took my silence as something happening. I lied and told them that I didn't know... I kind of wanted to tell them about us. They assume I'll never let myself live at all and die a hairy virgin. Anyway James has been weird with me since."

"Why does Potter even care. He's got that girlfriend of his!"

"Look, I don't know, but he fancies you and it'll kill him if he knew about us."

"Do you regret it?"

"Which part?"

"Having sex with me?"

Remus took two seconds too long to respond before Lily turned away from him, continuing down the corridor faster than she had ever walked before. She turned into the girls toilets on the second floor, hoping he wouldn't follow her in.

"Wait, Lily-" Remus called, jogging after her, holding his bag to him. "I don't regret _it_... I just regret the circumstances that we left things." He followed her right into the deserted bathroom.

Lily looked down at the ground with a faint smile. She wasn't going to press him any further about the topic. She knew he had made up his mind and she wanted to respect that.

"I really enjoyed that night, Lily. And if it makes you feel any better, I'm finding it tough this time"

"I don't understand."

"I told you... I want it more during the full moon week."

"Ah yes... it's close"

"Four days."

"You hand must get tired," she laughed. The joke was lost on Remus until he realised what she had just suggested.

"That, Ms. Evans is personal."

"Sorry, I couldn't help it. It would be so much easier if humans were asexual and reproduced in a much less hormonal fashion."

"It is fun though," Remus commented with a blush.

"Yeah, it is." Lily agreed, turning a similar colour. "It would probably be fun to do again too..."

"Probably, but almost definitely wrong."

"Almost," Lily whispered before taking his hand in his.

"What are you doing?"

"Something definitely almost wrong," she muttered as she pressed her lips to Remus's, his back hitting the wall. Logically decisive Remus had disappeared.

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.

.

"Oh my Merlin, Lily, why?" Remus huffed against her shoulder. He loosened his grip on her shirt and hair as his shoulders fell and his chest heaved.

"Why not?" she smirked, "We're just snogging, Remus."

"We're meant to be doing rounds."

"I'm sure the school was fine for twenty minutes. Come on, lets go."

"Give me a second" he chuckled under his breath, adjusting his trousers. "This has to be the last time, Lily."

"I know. I was saying goodbye." She smiled, kissing the tip of his nose and walking out into the corridor, hoping Moaning Myrtle hadn't witnessed their snogging.

"I can't help feel like I'm taking advantage of you." Remus muttered, walking along side of her.

"Taking advantage of me? I came on to you. Both times. And you're the one drunk off Lycantrophy hormones!" she laughed. "And believe it or not, girls get aroused too, to an almost _unbearable_ sense."

"Little bit louder please, the Hufflepuffs in the basement didn't hear you."

"Oh hush, no one is around. I know it puts you in a difficult position but it just feels so... good. It's addictive And I kind of like knowing I have that effect on someone," she muttered, her eyes glancing towards his crotch.

"Lily, I won't let myself drag you down with me. You're life will be hard enough as a Muggle-born. Voldemort's forces are growing and you'll be in enough danger as it is."

"I know, Remus, I tell myself that every day. I just wish there was some way..."

"I can't keep going behind James's back like this."  
"Oh we're back to Potter!" Lily huffed, nudging him away from her with her hip playfully.

"Why do you hate him so much?"

"I don't hate him. I have a strong dislike for his child-like behaviour."

"As do I, but he's a good bloke."

"Why are you trying to push Potter on me?"

"I'm not pushing him on you. He's just not the guy everyone thinks he is."

"Who is he then?"

"He's just James. He's a decent guy."

"Can we not talk about him please? I was enjoying your company."

"As was I."

"Come on, lets go to the astronomy tower." Lily offered, starting towards the stair case.

"Why?"

"I _really_ need a cigarette."

"Good, so do I." "Remus smiled with a sigh of relief. "But you don't smoke."

"Sometimes I do. I didn't realise you did."  
"I snook away from you a few times to have a fag at the wedding."

"And the whole night, I needed one and didn't have any," Lily glared at him. "I didn't want to ask, in case you thought it was foul."

Remus let out a small chuckle. That was the exact reason he didn't tell Lily that she smoked.

"When did you start smoking." Lily asked, using the banister as leverage to climb the stair case. It was a long way up and her legs were already tired.

"Last year. It's the only thing that really helps with the pain."

"Oh. I nicked a fag on Petunia over the summer, then her whole box. She was too scared of me to accuse me."

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By the time they reached the highest part of the tower, Lily's legs were aching and he fingers were pulling out a cigarette from the box she has stuffed into her sock. The tower wasn't empty however. Apparently Sirius had the exact same idea as Remus and Lily. He was perched on the ledge of the tower, looking out over the forest.

"Alright, Mooney? Evans." he muttered without turning around to the two arrivals.

"How did you know it was us?" Lily asked, slightly uneasy.

"I've a keen nose for the smell of lies." Sirius smiled, turning and hopping off the ledge. Remus saw him tucking a piece of battered parchment into his cloak pocket with a wink towards the werewolf.

"Two prefects smoking, something naughty there. What are you two up to?" Black asked casually but eyeing Remus, who had his eyes focussed on the almost full moon. Remus pulled his packet of cigarette out of his pocket and held one out to Sirius who accepted it. "Cheers, mate. I'm shocked at you, Evans. Didn't think you'd be a smoker."

"I have my stressful days."

"Ah don't we all."

"What do you have to be stressed about?" Lily asked, joining him at the ledge. She didn't pick up on his attitude.

"Love, my dear. Love. Seems like Marlene doesn't actually want to go out with me. I thought she was playing hard to get." Lily tried to swallow a laugh. It was common knowledge that Marlene McKinnon did not go on dates. Everyone had their theories but as Marlene said, her family had decided her marital fate since she was a child and there was no point in trying to fight it.

"And you're upset that you can't sleep with her?" Remus half laughed. "There's plenty around, mate."

"Shut it, Remus or I'll knock you off the tower. Marlene is wicked. Have you _seen_ her legs?" Sirius shifted uncomfortably and moved off of the ledge, tossing half the cigarette off the tower.

"Yeah she is, but she's off limits on her own rules." Lily re-informed him. "She chose not to go with anyone for a reason do don't take it so badly, Black."

"Hmm... I'm still not used to that reaction." he sighed, Immediately regretting his loss of fag.

"What did she do?"

"She looked me straight in the eye and said no, smiled and wished me a good day."

"So you have never been rejected before. Lucky you." Lily rolled her eyes, flickering momentarily at Remus.

"She just acted like I asked her if she had a spare quill handy."

"You need to get over yourself, " Remus said, shocking both Sirius and Lily. "You don't get every girl. Stop thinking that they all want to shag you."

"I know they _all_ don't want to shag me. Evans here would be quite happy with her legs crossed until she's forty," Sirius half joked. Lily went red and Remus pursed his lips. "Besides, I don't want to shag every bird in this place."

"Every weekend you have a new date." Lily scoffed, trying to hide her blushed face.

"No, every weekend I hang around with someone else. I'm a good laugh, Evans. Just because I'm hanging around with a girl doesn't mean I'm shagging them. I can have female friends!"

"That discretion is going to dampen your reputation." Smirked Remus, pulling his legs up and over the ledge of the tower, the way Sirius was sitting before.

"Let it. I don't really care. I'm sick of people thinking that's all I care about. Sirius Black, the lady magnet." Sirius muttered, dropping his fag off of the astronomy tower and moving towards the stair case. "Have fun whatever you two do. I won't tell James you're together." he said casually as he began his decent.

"You won't _what_ now?" Lily span around, her face flushing red again in both embarrassment and anger.

"There is two reasons why people come up here together; to do homework with some extra star time or to fuck and I can see you don't have your telescopes with you."

"Hold it, Black," Lily snapped, marching over to him. "We're up here smoking and we're not... fucking. Ugh, I hate that word. Why would you think that?"

"Remus has been very chipper of late, hasn't he. Since he got back from his weekend away."

"Padfoot," Remus said cautiously, not daring to go near him. He remained sat on the ledge. "It's not like that at all."

"Yes, we're just friends. Like we always have been." Lily confirmed, trying against all will to cool her face down.

"You're not a good liar, Evans. It looked painful to admit that." And with that, Sirius walked down the stairs, pulling the parchment back out of his pocket.

"Do you think he knows?" Lily asked Remus, biting her lip. "And what was that parchment."

"He knows something."

"Convenient," she rolled her eyes, taking a drag of the cigarette. "Just what I need."

"I doubt he'd tell."

"I don't care really if he does. It you who cares." Lily remarked quite coldly. "Look, I'm sorry about earlier. I kind of jumped you. I guess it's in my head that if I keep coming on to you, you'll give in even after you explained all of that."

"It was partially my fault for not stopping you."

"Why am I so messed up?" Lily tossed the butt of her fag off the tower as Sirius did and pressed her hands to her face.

"I seem adamant to get a guy who doesn't want me. I have become completely estranged with my only sister. My best friend called me a mud-blood and I still miss him and I can't seem to let anyone else in. Remus, I don't know what to do with myself. How will I ever get a hold of myself for the rest of my life if I can't figure out my sixteen year old brain. Marlene isn't talking to me right now because she said I am being to self absorbed and I am only realising now that she is right. I don't think I've asked her how she was in a fortnight."

"Lily, calm down," Remus said, tucking his arm around her.

"Don't do that. Don't act like that when you don't really care."

"I do care. We've been friends for years so I do care. You just need to let your head free and forget who you are for a while."

"Seems like you're giving me my own advice," she recalled their conversation from the wedding. "I'll try, Remus." She smiled, and leant her head onto his shoulder.

How could she let her feelings for Remus get so out of hand? She _knew_ he wasn't interested in anything more than friendship. He had his logical reasons and Lily understood that. She didn't like it, but she understood it. She felt like her heart was slipping further from her head and she didn't know how to reign it back in. It wasn't fair on either Remus or Lily to let feelings to go a-miss when they had reason not to follow them.


	4. November 17th, 1976, Hogwarts

**Right guys, another chapter for a story that nobody reads.**

**/\/\/\/\**

"Right," Lily spoke confidently to herself in the mirror. "All I've got to do between now and the rest of my is to get Remus Lupin out of my head and maybe somebody new in it." With a smile she smoothed out her hair and checked her eyes for sleep.

"Should be simple enough. There are plenty of attractive boys in Hogwarts. Maybe." with a frown she leaned into the mirror, eyeing a black head emerging on her forehead. She heard Marlene enter – the only other living soul awake this time of the morning – but did not move her eyes from the tiny pinprick dot.

"Are you talking to yourself again?" her friend asked, her Welsh accent curving a smile onto Lily's lips. She loved Marlene's accent.

"There is nothing wrong with that."

"No, in-fact Bedlam recommends it." Marlene teased, joining her ginger friend at the sink and started splashing water on her face. "Who are the wails about this morning?"

"Nobody in particular. Just deciding that I should probably get a life."

"I'll set ye' up with Jeremy Mulligan in seventh year if you like. He's nice."

"No you're alright. I don't see how blind dates can be in anyway helpful."

"How would it be a blind date? You know Mulligan. Actually, you have given detention to Mulligan."

"Speaking of dates. I hear you're crushing Black's heart."

"Which one?"

"What do you mean which one? Sirius!"

"Ah. Well apparently young Black is a contender. Mum's gone all praise about him."

"What happened to McLaggan?"

"Married. Eloped actually."

"How awful."

"Oh he was awful pompous. I don't mind really. Just give me a man who'll let me do my own thing and I'll be happy."

"I don't think that's the point. I think he's meant to do it for you," Lily said seriously but her voice dripping in the expectation of a laugh. Marlene smacked her arm.

"Stoppit you!" She giggled, unable to keep her chuckles down.

"Anyway, why don't you just give Sirius his date and be done with it."

"I just don't like him. There is no point to it. Besides, I don't want to end up with a wain before I finish school, no thank you. I know what he's like."

"What in Godric's Goldsacks is a wain?" Lily chuckled. She boosted herself to balance on the sink without falling back.

"A baby."

"Oh. Anyway he's not like that at all apparently." Lily found herself shocked that she was defending Sirius Black. However the night before, she saw a new side to him.

"I'm sorry?"

"I don't think he really behaves like that- Sleeping around I mean. Think about it. He's a guy who wants to be loved by everyone at school because nobody at home loves him. That doesn't sound like someone who is grinding their way through a to-do list. Girls would go positively ape-shit if he was sleeping with them all. That's not love."

"S'pose. Either way, I don't want a date with him."

"Suit yourself. Any plans for the weekend?"

"Homework mostly. And I've to write home to my mother telling her how extremely regular my womanly troubles are." Marlene frowned but laughed at the same time. With this Lily clamped her hand over her mouth and fell back into the sink, causing her to scream in pain as her lower back collided with two taps.

.

.

.

.

"Are you sure I don't have any bruises?" Lily asked later that afternoon. She cornered Marlene in the ladies on the fifth floor and heaved up her robes for her friend to check her lower back.

"No none. Now pull down your skirt before someone comes in. Chins will wag."

"Oh gosh the gossip. Two Gryffindor's showing each other their backs! The shame!" Lily cried, linking Marlene's arm and walking out of the bathroom and towards the Charms classroom.

As she sat herself into her desk, she rubbed the base of her back before slinging her book out of her bag and on to he table.

"Bum sore, Evans? Someone's been on the ground too roughly." she heard Black whisper. Lily span around, seeing him grinning ear to ear. "I'm sure James here could rub it better."

"It's my back, and no thanks. I had an incident with a sink tap if you must know."

"I hope you had fun earning that injury. And James is good at all kinds of healing."

"I'm gonna punch you in the throat, Black," she heard James grumble from behind Black. James never addressed his best friend by his surname.

"Being shy today, Potter?" He smirked and turned to Remus. "How 'bout you. How are you good at massages, Mooney? I'm sure she'd let you give it a try."

Sirius was suddenly flung backwards in his chair and was grappling at this throat. James had reached over his own desk and him Sirius by his tie from behind. Sirius's eyes were panicked, eyeing Remus and calling out to him in hoarse croaks. Lily curled her lips between her teeth to stop herself from laughing when Marlene swished her wand, James went toppling back into his seat once more and Sirius began to breath again.

"Blimey, mate, what the hell are you trying to do?"

"Keep your mouth shut, Black."

"Fuck, what did I do?"

"Stop being such a dick." Remus snapped at him as he regained control of his breathing.

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.

"What the bloody hell was that all about, Sirius?" Remus asked, holding him back after the rest of the students disappeared.

"Dunno what you mean."

"The massage comment. Why did you have to go there?"

"What, is it getting too personal between you and Evans?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I was watching you on the map. For a good fifteen minutes you two in the corner of Myrtle's bathroom. _Very_ close. And you went to that wedding together. Something is going on between you two."

_Shit._ Close. Huddled. Hugging. Happy hugs. Sad hugs. _Crying!_

"If you must know, Sirius, she was crying. She didn't want anyone in the library to hear her crying so we went to the one place in this castle which is literally designated for crying!"

"What was she crying about?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know."

"Sometimes girls don't want the Spanish Inquisition, Sirius. When they're upset they just want a hand, or a shoulder."

"I don't want to have to listen to James go on about how bloody chummy you are getting to Evans anymore so clear the air with him."

Sirius turned on his heals and swiftly left the room.

Remus caught up with Lily as she was entering the Arithmancy classroom, pulling her aside quickly to tell her what he had just told Sirius, and to go along with it.

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"Oi, Black." Marlene called over the noise of the Gryffindor Common-room.

"McKinnon. Thanks again for freeing me for the so-called befriend that is Potter."

"You never thanked me the first time."

"I was choking. Sorry if I missed a breath."

"Anyway, I wanted to ask you something important."

"Alright?"

"Whats your brother like?"

"Fucks sake, McKinnon, you could have just said no to me. You don't have to go dating my brother just to make a point."

"Oh that's not what it's about! Come here." Marlene dragged Sirius out of the common-room and up to the empty boys dormitories. "Look, I just saw something... odd."

"Well if you saw my brother, than yeah, he is the something odd."

"No. I saw him down at the lake today, getting all cosy with Snape and Mulciber."

"They're in the same house, McKinnon."

"Snape is in our year, Mulciber in seventh. I highly doubt they were tutoring him. They saw Sally Madley, the head girl nearby they scarpered."

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because my mother has it in her head that your brother would make a good suitor for me and I am not marrying into a family of Death Eaters." Marlene finally cried, the weight of the secret lifted from her shoulders.

"Are you serious? Do you even get a say in the matter?"

"Of course I do. But I have to make my mother happy. Over Christmas my mother is having a party with all her 'friends' and their sons. It's really her way of defining their level of wealth."

"So there is more than one option?"

"Maybe, depends. The sons get a say as well. If they don't think I'm wife-material, they won't bother, I suppose."

"Glad I'm away from that shit." Sirius gave a half smile.

"Wish you weren't. It'd be so much easier marrying a friend."

"We're friends?"

"'Course we are. I saved your life." She smiled. "I have to go. I want to get dinner. Quidditch training tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah, at half five."

"I'll be there. Bye," she said cheerily.

A low whistle filled the air. Black whipped around to see Peter lying on his back

on the bed.

"Tough blow, mate." the short boy consolidated.

"Were you there the whole time?"

"I was looking for my eagle quill under the bed when you came in. Y'know, as Wormtail. Was she serious about marrying you?"

"Why the hell does she do that?" Sirius shouted. "She says things like that like she has told me that is might rain today! Does she not realise what she is doing to me?"

"Want me to go find out?" Peter smirked.

"No, I want you to go down to dinner and find my brother. Follow him back to the Slytherin common-room if you can."

"Why?"

"Were you asleep under there?"

"Maybe?"

"Just do it. Listen to any conversations he might have with Mulciber or Snape."

"You own me," Peter smiled, hopping off his bed and leaving the dorms.

"Yeah yeah,"

.

.

.

.

"Evening," Lily smiled as she sat down between Marlene and Mary.

"Where've you been? Merlin, I don't think I'll be marrying the young Black."

"I've been in the library waiting for you two, but guess what. You're here!"

"I told you it was today," Mary leaned over Lily to poke Marlene in the ribcage.

"Whatever, forget about it. Marlene, update?"

"Oh right. Well, I'm not saying much here but I will say one thing. I am not marrying into a You-Know-Who fanclub."

"Good. You just have to tell your mother that you don't want to get married."

"But I do want to get married some day but not now and not with him, or any of those pompous idiots."

"You'll find your own man some day, 'Lene." Mary squeezed her hand supportively. Marlene smiled back in gratitude but her eyes remained deep in sorrow thought.

"Yeah, maybe. I have to relax, what's the password for the prefect's bathroom, Lily?"

"_Primrose Fresh,_" Lily smiled, watching her friend leave.

.

.

.

.

Peter slid into a side pocket of Regulus Black's smart briefcase like school bag easily in the Great Hall. He remained there, dozing off occasionally, until the younger Black tossed the bag across the Slytherin common-room, causing Peter to question if he had a concussion. He untangled himself from a long piece of twine and slipped out of the bag, moving along the skirting boards towards where the boy sat with Snape.

"There's more for us out there." Snape drawled as his eyes glided across an old book.

"How much more?" Regulus asked, looking a bit too keen on information.

"There's glory beyond anything you can imagine in a world that has yet to exist. We're at an advantage, Black. He won't turn down purebloods. And he rewards greatly."

"What kind of rewards?"

"You give him service, he'll give you power in society. Nobody will ever look down on you again."

The bricks to the Slytherin common-room opened again and Peter used this moment to escape from the room undetected, and duck into a hole in a wall where he could wait for the castle to become quiet enough to return to the Gryffindor Tower.

.

.

.

.

"Lily," Remus called around to the red-head as the crowds in the common-room was slowly thinning. "Lily, do you have my Arithmancy book?"

"No, this is mine. I'll be finished with it in a few minutes," she did not look at him. She couldn't. Ever since she decided, earlier that day, that she would push pass her Remus obsession, the pressure in her stomach to have sex with him again had increased. She felt like the only way she could relieve it was to get Remus back into bed or wait it out.

"Are you okay?" He made his way over to her, ignoring Sirius's complains about Divination.

"Yes, I am fine, thanks." Lily still did not look at Remus. She didn't think she could stop herself if she saw his eyes. She tried in vain to finish what she was writing.

"No you're not."

"No, you're right. I am not but there's nothing you can do about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," she snapped the book closed and moved her parchment into a pile of freshly written homework. She slid the book across the Remus where his hand clamped down on hers. "Let go," she said sternly.

"Whats with you?"

"Nothing, I'm just... not right. I need to go." She snatched her hand back from Remus.

"You're acting odd."

"Am I? Well you're not my boyfriend Remus so I don't know what it has to do with you." She hissed far too aggressively than she intended. She collected her quill, ink and parchment into her bag and tried to step towards the girls stairway. Remus stepped after her, grabbing her arm.

"Lily what is going on?"

"I want to go to bed, Remus." She muttered then lowered her voice to a barely inaudible whisper. "And since you have absolutely no intention of joining me, let me go."

"Is this what this is about?"

"Like you didn't know."

"Lily I..."

"Goodnight." She pushed past him, unsure why she had gotten so aggressive. She regretted it by the time she reached her dormitory but wouldn't allow herself go back down to apologise. With a sigh, she fell onto her bed and listened to mindless chatter by her friends on the other side of the room, and fell into an uneasy sleep.


	5. November 30th, 1976, Hogwarts

**Thank you so much to FantasyGirl1992, a writer I greatly admire (READ HER STUFF), for your review! As well as Mell, triskadekaphobia and RMoors too! I really appreciate it. I don't think I would have posted this chapter if it wasn't for you guys.**

**Also to anybody who favoured/followed this story or any of my others, a million thanks!**

**I know this is a short one but I'd rather post a short chapter than spend forever on a long one I'd never be happy with. I just want to explain something about Lily here. She's a girl who never saw herself as a sexual person until the night with Remus at the wedding. She slept with him partly to see what all the fuss was about and party because she wanted to feel more grown-up, womanly and partly because she does fancy Remus and thought if she slept with him, he would want her. I know it's a silly thing to think, but it's not always a conscious thought and only realised months/years after.**

**Anyway, enjoy this please. I am planning to write more on the boys but I always find them more difficult to write about because from experience, men don't share too much, and I like chatter.**

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

"What's wrong with me, Mary?" Lily asked her friend as they trudged along the dirt path towards the forbidden forest for Care of Magical Creatures. Lily toed each tuft of grass along the way.

"You are too critical of yourself." Mary offered, sympathetically, however she had no idea what was wrong with Lily.

"I just want to burst and scream and I am so tired but I want to just run." Lily grumbled, her eyes stuck to the groud.

"Sounds like you need a hobby." Mary laughed, shoving Lily to the side a bit.

"I have hobbies. Potions, crosswords and-"

"I didn't mean that."

"What did you mean?" she questioned. How many hobbies were available under Hogwart's numerous roofs? Mary just raised her eyebrows and gave her a knowing look. Lily flushed red. "By 'hobby' do you mean a boy?"

"Not necessarily. Maybe just... yourself." Mary answered, her own cheeks getting hot.

"Oh Lord," Lily muttered, looking around to see if anybody was around. "I don't like talking about that. Or doing that. There is no privacy in Hogwarts." Lily whispered.

"Why do you think we always want to use the prefects bathroom." She winked. Neither Mary nor Marlene were prefects but they had always asked for the passwords since Lily earned her badge.

Care of Magical Creatures was a class she favoured as it gave her the opportunity to get some fresh air into her lungs. It also allowed her to be somewhat curious into the secrets of the Forbidden Forest. A large part of their classes involved trekking through the woods looking for their desired creature. However, Lily couldn't concentrate. She couldn't get her head around the idea of doing that to herself. Her mind thought of Remus, and how his fingers had made her feel, but she doubted she could achieve such results herself. She glanced at Remus, who was trying to coax a Knarl out of it's hiding spot. A shiver ran down her spine as her face burned a colour close to a tomato.

"Off with the fairies?" Mary asked, poking Lily in the side. "I saw you looking at them," she nodded her head to where Remus was bend over and James was ready with a bag for the Knarl. She could head James 'whoop' in celebration as Remus tossed the small creature into the bag, then sigh.

"Just a bloody hedgehog!" James cursed, letting the petrified creature go. It's spikes had caught in the cotton lining of the bag. Lily smiled at his expression of dismay, as Remus frowned. His hand edged for his back pocket, where he kept his cigarettes but he couldn't let Professor Kettleburn see him smoking.

"I was interested in their capture," Lily justified.

"Or you were staring at Potter. I've seen him shirtless. I would stare too,"

"Then stare. Wait, when did you see him shirtless?" Lily asked. Sirius was a flaunt and would often descend from the boy's dorm shirtless late at night, claiming to be looking for something. But James never did.

"In Marlene's over the summer. They're second cousins and he was visiting. Her house is really old and has a swimming pond down the garden."

"Oh."

"You're interested." Mary smiled.

"I'd say you are." Lily counteracted.

"Well, he's good-looking, and attractive. But I don't think I'd like to go with him." Mary considered.

"What about Lupin?"

"I don't know. Maybe, but his family is very odd. Who lets their son leave school so much?"

"His mum is a muggle." Lily tried to defend him.

"My mum wouldn't let me leave so often." Mary laughed lightly. Mary was what she liked to describe, barely-a-muggleborn. Her father was a muggle-born, and her mother was a muggle, so she felt almost as outcasted at Hogwarts as Lily did in their first few years.

"Good point, mine neither. Anyway, his mother is really ill." Lily left the conversation at that. The rest of the lesson went as expected. She managed to catch four Hedgehogs before a Knarl but didn't mind. Hedgehogs were endearing creatures when they weren't all pointy.

"Seriously though, Lily, Potter..." Mary edged as they were leaving the forest.

"Go find a hobby," Lily snapped, and the two girls shared a smile. _Go fuck yourself_ just became cleaner.

After a double charms lesson, Lily, Mary and Marlene collapsed in the dormitory. Morgan and her friend Kiera were at Divination, which left the dormitory empty.

"I just don't think I could do that. It would be weird doing that to myself."

"You just have to figure yourself out and relax." Mary smiled. Mary had an odd understanding of sex. She read a lot of magazines and books and indulges in gossip with her cousins from America (who are much more open) but she was still a virgin. She seemed more knowledgeable than Lily on the subject. Lily knew what went where and if it was done right, it was incredible, but when it came down to knowing her own body, she was lost.

Mary joined Marlene on her bed, while Lily lay on the one next to it; Mary's. "Do you know that Muggles have a pill that stops you having babies?"

"What? For good?" Marlene asked, horrified.

"No, dafty. You have to take it at the same time every single day. And if you miss a day, you might get pregnant."

"My word, that will change things," Marlene said in amazement.

"It already has," Lily said quietly. "Families are smaller now,"

"My cousin Flora is on it. It made her boobs huge." Mary laughed.

"Is she married?" Marlene asked.

"Nope, but she has a boyfriend. I think. I know she has sex a lot." Mary said casually. She caught Marlene's face. "America is different. It's more colourful and free."

"So people just go around having sex all day?"

"People do that here too," Lily said, "It's just kept quiet.

"You can meet Flora this summer. She's coming with Norma and their friend Alyson." Mary smiled, flicking through the magazine.

"Don't let her give you any ideas." Marlene advised, peering into the magazine.

"Would you think less of someone who had sex before marriage." Lily asked, picking at the bed cover.

"Why?" Marlene asked, her wide eyes not moving from one section.

"I am just asking... like say if someone had sex still in school. Would she be a tart?"

"Plenty of people do. Morgan shagged James plenty of times.. I don't know about Kiera."

"I just... did."

"Did what? Shag James?"

"No! Lord no."

"Oh don't scare me," Marlene sighed.

"Somebody else." Lily said, barely audible. Before she could even register that she told her friends her greatest secret, the sound of paper being thrown past her head filled her ears. Mary had jumped from the bed and raced to lily's side.

"Who was it?" She asked.

"I can't say. We promised."

"Oh it was Potter, wasn't it," Mary laughed.

"No it was not. I would never sleep with that idiot."

"Who then?"

"A friend."

"Did it hurt?" Mary inquired.

"The first time, yes?"

"How many times were there?"

"Three."

"Snape?" Marlene suggested.

"A current friend."

"You're friends with everyone." Marlene sighed.

"I'm friendly to everyone," Lily corrected as she leapt off the bed, wanting to be out of the room a quickly as possible. "Anyway, Ladies, I must be off."

"Go find a hobby!" Mary shouted at Lily as the reed-head grabbed her wash-bag from the top of her trunk.

"Where are you going?" Marlene asked.

"Lily's going to use the prefect's bathroom." Mary told Marlene with a sly smirk, that made Marlene stifle a giggle.

"Traitor." Lily sneered playfully.

"Remember, it's always good to have a hobby!" Mary called after her.


	6. December 3rd, 1976, Hogwarts

**So my plan way to open each chapter with a memory. I suck. I forgot about the memories. I had tons. Took so long to formulate this one! Whoops!**

**Again, thanks to FantasyGirl1992, your support is unrivalled.**

**Let's get this chapter rolling! Two in one week!**

**Enjoy!**

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_Sirius Black was seven years old when he watched his brother fell out of a tree and broke his arm. Mending his arm was the first piece of accidental magic the older boy had ever done. His mother shone with pride at his talents and sent Regulus to his room without dinner for climbing such a high tree._

"_That's a good boy," Walburga smiled, giving Sirius a biscuit. Sirius silently took the biscuit with only a mumble of a 'thank you' and left the room. He climbed the stairs right up to his brothers room, where he found him sulking in the corner. The two boys split the biscuit and before long, they had forgotten the tree incident and were playing pin-the-tail-on-the-house-elf._

_Sirius was nine the first time he first heard of Death Eaters. He watched his parents read the papers intensely and talk to their wealthy friends about 'cleaning up the gene pool' and 'pruning the branches of the family tree'. When Sirius asked what the Death Eaters did, his parents told him they were making pure bloods strong again. This made Sirius happy. He knew he was a pure-blood and he wanted to be strong, and tall, and able to lift really heavy things and fly and have lots of friends. Like all little boys, this also followed by wanting to be some kind of superhero._

_When Sirius was ten, he watched his mother burn a hole in the family tree. A woman who's face he had almost forgotten was scorched off the large tapestry for marrying a Muggle-Born and dirtying the family. Sirius understood now what 'pruning the branches' meant. It was the first time he heard the word mud-blood._

_When Sirius was eleven, he went to Hogwarts. The night before he was to board the Hogwarts express for the first time, his father sat down with him and told him that he was to be in Slytherin and to befriend children of pure ancestry alone and that people with muggle blood were dirty and not good friends. His true friends will be pure blood Slytherins and they will honour the custom of pure-blood pride. The following day, he defied his father. One, he was sorted into Gryffindor. Two, he befriended a half blood with a muggle mother, Remus. And three, his only pure-blood friend, James, was the 'wrong sort' of pure-blood, from a fallacious and dishonoured family._

_When Sirius was sixteen, on Christmas 1975, he defied his parents in a way that was unforgivable. His mother grabbed him by the hair, her strength unreasonable for a woman of her age, pulled him down the stairs from his room and into the room that held the family tree. She pressed his face upon the woven wool with great force, pain surrounding the boys head with the pressure. His whole body ached and bled in several places from prior punishments. Her wand was pressed against the tapestry, firing white hot flames against his likeness, smoke arising from it making Sirius feel ill. "You deceitful, ungrateful little brat. You have brought dishonour to your name. You will be punished for this." her voice grinding every word, her nails digging into her scalp drawing blood. Sirius just about managed to get away as she watched his face burn on the tapestry. He ran for his bedroom, locking the door with his wand. He threw as many of his belongings as possible into his trunk before blasting his own bedroom wall with a permanent sticking charm-just to piss them off- and mounted his trunk to his broom. He didn't look back as he jumped out his window, broom and trunk in tow._

_All the while, Regulus Black watched the scene unfold, his face drained of all colour, mentally signing an invisible contract with himself to do whatever it took to avoid that kind of violence from either parent._

Sirius awoke with a start, the sweat creeping from his neck down his back. He hated having dreams about his childhood, especially when it reminded him of how close he came to becoming a pure-blood maniac, like his family, and also of his brother. He hoped every day that Regulus wasn't too far gone to be saved. Despite being already blasted off the family tree, he still felt responsible for his younger brother. The nightmares weren't nearly as bad as they used to be, but they still made him sweat. Even the happy memories, because now he pictured a demon in the room, a demon trying to control his life and watching his every move. When he told James about the dreams, his friend did not laugh, or serve him with pity. James just shrugged and told him everyone had their demons; Sirius's just happened to be his mother.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Why is it so important to have a date for Hogsmeade? It's a village, not the BBC Proms." Lily frowned, as herself and Marlene peered around a bookshelf to watch Mary be asked out by a seventh year. They were huddled in the library, trying to get the majority of their homework done so their Christmas holiday workload would be lighter.

"What are the BBC proms?" Marlene asked with a look of confusion. Lily just shook her head and pressed her fingers to her lips, trying to listen in. She leaned over, sticking her head around the corner again. As far as she could tell, Mary had accepted the date and they were discussing what they could do for the afternoon.

"Have you ever brought someone to Hogsmeade?" Marlene asked with a curious glance.

"No. Yes. But it wasn't a date. Sev and myself would spend our time in the book shop or the post office." Lily turned back from the shelf to answer Marlene before poking her head around again.

"Wow, that seems like loads of fun." Marlene gasped sarcastically, rolling up a piece of partchment. "Goodbye, charms!"

"Oh shut up. My sister is afraid of owls. and the post office has a muggle service, which I think is a wizard apparating all over the country to be honest."

"I know but a book shop? How boring. Why not the Three broom sticks, or Aldridge's?"

"Too many people. Sev didn't like it." Lily tossed the silly answer out, hoping her friend wouldn't ask.

"You mean he didn't like your fellow Gryffindor classmates?

"Yes, that. I've barely been inside the place. I missed the last Hogsmeade weekend."

"Oh you were at the wedding with Lupin. Hey Lily, was it-"

"Oh she's coming back!" Lily landed back in her chair, with a grin. "She looks happy."

They waited, feigning ignorance, as Mary appeared back around to their table, her face still slightly pink.

"Matthew Goodhall is quite handsome." she whispered, her shoulders back and her head held high. Mary had good posture but this was stretching her spine to over excessive lengths. "We are going to Aldridge's, you know, the coffee shop."

"Lovely." Marlene smiled. "So he just blurted it out then, that he fancies you?"

"Yes, well, after some persuasion. He's quite shy, but I told him is he wasn't going to ask me out, I'd have to find myself another date and he asked very quickly." She smiled, straightening out her skirt.

"Why are you acting like that?" Lily asked,

"Like what?" Mary asked, shaking her head.

"Like you're... not Mary. You've never used the word handsome before." Marlene accused.

With a sigh, Mary slouched her shoulders a little and let her head fall onto the table. "Ugh, practising. My mother is going on at me to be a 'proper lady and how the outside world is dangerous' and how I should meet a nice young man." Mary looked at her friends. "She's got some high values, regardless if they are Wizard or Muggle."

"Sounds like my mother." Marlene chuckled. "'Straighten your back, Marlene-Elizabeth. You skirt is crooked, Marlene-Elizabeth. Walburga Black and her youngest son are coming for luncheon, Marlene-Elizabeth, make sure Lola brushes your hair, it's quite unruly.' It's exhausting." Marlene's imitation of her mother earned her a few chuckles from nearby tables. "You know she thinks I gave up Quidditch."

"That's ridiculous." Lily exclaimed as she stared at Marlene wide-eyed. "Wait, who's Lola?" Lily asked.

"The house-elf. Tiny thing pretty much raised me."

"Oh. And this business with younger Black?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh she's still aboard the arranged marriage train!" Marlene confirmed with a grunt of disapproval. "Black or Frank Longbottom."

"Guys! Goodhall! Matthew Goodhall!" Mary cried across us, gaining unwanted attention from the librarian.

"Sorry Mary," Lily gushed. "So you're going with him?"

"Yes. He's nice. I haven't had a _proper_ date to Hogsmeade yet." Mary grinned. "Oh rats, it's tomorrow! I'm going to go find something to wear." With that, Mary sped off out of the library, leaving half of her essay parchment behind.

"That one is going la-la," Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Well, at least I'll have you tomorrow." Lily smiled, capping her ink pot and tossing it in her bag. She held a single piece of parchment out straight, waiting for the ink to dry before she rolled it up. "Lets head back up,Marlene, I've rounds in an hour with Remus."

"Oh yeah, Lily. Was it Remus?" Marlene asked, causing Lily to pause for a moment, seemingly inspecting her parchment. She then looked back to Marlene.

"Yes, I've rounds with Remus." Lily left her chair and left the library almost as quickly as Mary did.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Sirius Black paced up and down the Boys dormitory, waiting for Peter to return. He had sent his friend out a total of five times in the past three weeks to track down Regulus. Peter was getting fed up with it but Sirius offered to pay him back, in both gold and History of Magic essays.

Sirius's secret weapon, when it came to school. Growing up in such an ancient family who values their past as much they do their present lives, it was impossible to escape the hours of history lessons. They were told on a biased front by his father mostly, but it didn't take Sirius long to figure out how the historical events really played out or what went on over the other side of the battle.

"Calm down, mate," Remus suggested as he walked into the dormitory from the bathroom.

"Look, something is happening and it involves Regulus. He's my brother." Sirius couldn't look at Remus. Meeting someone's eye might make him feel too sick with concern to hold down his recently consumed dinner.

"And you're mine. I hate seeing you like this." Remus confessed.

"It's not the same. You are my brother, so is Prongs and Wormtail but Regulus is lost. He doesn't have people to guide him. When we were kids, I could make him do anything. He's too easily led and he will fall on the wrong kind of people." Sirius sat down on his bed for five seconds before returning to pace. Remus looked at his watch.

"Where's Prongs?"the werewolf asked, looking a bit apprehensive.

"With Morgan I think."

"I will go tell Lily I'll be late," He sighed, not wanting to leave his friend.

"It's fi-" Sirius started but when he heard a quick yelp and the 'swish' sound of a spell being cast from outside the door, he froze. His body turned to ice as his eyes watched Remus leap across the room to the door and wrench it open. He found Lily looking startles, her wand out and a stunned rat by her feet. Peter.

"Shit!" Sirius cursed, realising what he had witnessed. His limbs began to work again.

"I'm not good with rats, I panicked." Lily muttered, not taking her eyes off the unconscious rodent. Remus scooped the tiny creature up and placed him on his bed, pulling out his wand.

"Lily, I'll be down in ten minutes."

"Is that somebody's pet?"

"Sort of. He's ours." Sirius muttered, closing the door as Lily walked into the dormitory. "What were you doing out there?"

"Looking for Remus. Rounds started fifteen minutes ago." Lily explained, moving closer to the rat.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just want to look after Wo- um, Warty."

"Warty?"

"Hogwarts rat, Warty!" Sirius caught on, a glint in his eye. Remus let out a heavy breath, praising his best friend.

"I didn't kill him did I? It was just a stunning jinx."

"No, don't worry. Really Lily, I'll be down on a few minutes." Remus almost snapped, still examining the rat. Lily huffed and left the room.

As soon as the door shut, Sirius turned to Remus. "Is he okay? This is my fault."

"Shut up and let me concentrate. Should we change him back first and then revive him or revive him first? But that might cause him to go into shock, though so could the other way."

"Why don't we let him sleep it out." Sirius suggested, moving their small friend to the rightful bed. "You've got rounds to do."

"Right, yeah. Find me if anything happens." Remus nodded to the map sitting on James's bed, folded up and blank.

"Roger Wilko." Sirius smiled, moving to his bed. Remus didn't have time to think where Sirius had heard such a phrase as he left the room to find Lily.

The red-head was sitting on a desk which usually occupied a chess board waiting for her fellow prefect. When Remus came down the staircase, she jumped up.

"I'm so sorry, I just don't like rats. I was bitten by a rat the first time I went into Elopes... and they've always scared me." she gushed, her eyes pleading Remus for forgiveness.

"It's fine, just a stun. He has probably had worse, with the amount of cats in this castle."

"It's so stupid, living in a bloody castle most of the year and I am scared to rodents."

"Stop it," Remus ordered her softly as he held the portrait door open for her. "He's a strong old rat."

"At least you're talking to me now," Lily murmured. "You've been avoiding me."

"You are one to talk."

"What does that mean?"

"You laid into at me in the common-room for no reason then ignore me for weeks."

"I was- I tried to apologise but you were running away from me every chance I got."

"Right well, clear the air. I'm sorry for avoiding you, but you are scary when you're angry and I wasn't in the mood to be yelled at."

"Sorry for snapping at you. It's been really stressful, this workload and don't forget, you are not the only one who has a bad time every month."

Remus flinched at this. Discussing woman troubles was not his idea of successful round of patrolling.

"Cleared," he tried to smile but his mind was on peter, in rat form, unconscious in the Gryffindor tower.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

James guided his girlfriend down a dark corridor, a grin spread across both their faces.

"I will miss you over Christmas." Morgan admitted, her small hands tracing the collar-line of his shirt.

"I'll miss you too," James replied, hoping to god his heart would let him tell the truth. Honestly, James wouldn't be too pushed if he didn't see Morgan until the school resumed in January.

"I'll see you at New Years at the McKinnons."

"As always."

"Our first kiss was at the McKinnons two years ago. You couldn't wait until midnight." She whispered, before her teeth made a small impression on the skin of his neck.

"Hmm... actually it was when we were seven and you kissed me on my birthday and I punched you because you were an icky girl," James laughed. Remembering times before he had began to date Morgan was easier. Childhood was easy, no worries or real fears. In a time of war, it's easy to get lost in such memories.

"You bruised my arm." she chuckled lightly, pressing her lips to James's neck.

"Ummhmm..." he hummed, sliding his hands up her curved body. How could lips that trailed to delicately and deliciously over his skin feel like the wrong pair of lips? He knew Morgan was a great girlfriend but she felt like the wrong one, and had felt like the wrong one for many months. It left him absolutely guilt-ridden, which he tried effortlessly to cover.

"Are we going to Hogsmeade together?" Morgan asked as her fingers began to unbutton James's shirt.

"I have to see the guys first but we'll meet you and Kiera afterwards. It's Sirius's birthday." They're usual Hogsmeade visit plan, arrive seperately, meet up later for drinks in a large group. It's been the same for the past two years.

"Sounds like a plan." she told him before dropping to her knees slowly, kissing her way down James's abdomen, stopping only for a moment to open his belt.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\**

**WHAT? TWO CHAPTERS? IN THREE DAYS?**

**I can only seem to write in the early hours of the morning and the sun is rising.**


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